LukePDQ

Remember the Bulwer-Lytton contest, aka "Dark and Stormy Night Contest" I posted about last week?
I did say I would deliver up the rest of the count-down to the San Jose's State University Top 10 contest to write
...only the first line of a bad novel:
So, here goes....... Enjoy! (that's a post ironic suggestion).


7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as
he crept along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre
creep.'"

6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of
narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley
sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."

5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not
keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store."

4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then
penguins often do."

3) "Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage
cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know
the meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of
danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal
tendencies."

AND THE WINNER IS...

1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along
the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle
window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder,
gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden
amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's
deception, screaming madly, 'You lied!"
Tags: humour quotes writing

# posted by Luke : 5/25/2006 01:31:00 am